Kathy's Story
It often feels painful to relive a loved one’s life with dementia. For Kathy Brunning, this retelling brings tears – but it also brings further healing.
“Every time I address my dad’s dementia, it helps further with the grief.”
We appreciate the raw and honest insights that people reveal through their stories. Their generosity in recounting life with dementia raises awareness and reassures people who may benefit from reading those shared experiences.
Kathy also sees these community-wide benefits as an essential part of the Melbourne Memory Walk & Jog, which she has walked in several times.
“I think it’s an incredibly healthy activity in nature. I also think it makes people realise they’re not alone and gives an inkling of how many people are affected.”
Kathy also appreciates that the event gives her the opportunity to give back. Her hope is that others can have the same support that she and her family received after her Dad’s dementia diagnosis.
A charity run inspired by dad
Kathy’s dad, Bob, was the “offer-to-do-anything for you type of person”. A helper at heart, he was a fire fighter with an easy-going, affable nature. He was also full of determination and drive, proving that mind over matter really can push you to do great things.
Around the age of 50, Bob began running. Eventually arthritis and hip replacements put a stop to his new passion, but not before he achieved something few people can boast of.
In 1983 Bob was part of a relay team that ran around Australia. He was the eldest in the group, running alongside former professional runners. Through the Great Aussie Run, the team broke the World Record.
This impressive feat has inspired Kathy to sign up for the 10km run in Melbourne this year. It’s her first, after previously walking the route. Training hasn’t been easy, as her mother-in-law is sadly dying. Kathy has also recently undergone vision correction surgery and is nursing an injured foot. Nevertheless, she says that nothing will stop her from becoming “a Running Brunning!”
Why Kathy is raising funds for Dementia Australia
Kathy is raising funds to honour both her dad and Dementia Australia. After his diagnosis with Alzheimer’s disease in 2015, her dad was still the same, lovely man she had always known – despite those tell-tale changes in behaviour that had first alerted her mum to his condition. The difference was that now Bob needed Kathy to care for him, where he had always been the one there for her and her kids.
Kathy was concerned for her mum and how hard it would be for her to look after Bob. Over time, her mum became increasingly frail – putting herself under pressure to make sure everything was as perfect as possible. Eventually, the family convinced them to move to a retirement village and later, a nursing home – removing the pressure that was devastating her mum’s health.
During this time, Kathy, her mum and Bob found that they could reach out for help. Dementia Australia was able to support them with counselling and the Living with Dementia course. This support helped to ease the intensity of the challenges they faced each day. It also connected them with other people impacted by dementia and showed them the myriad ways the condition can manifest in a person.
“Living with a family member with dementia is difficult. It was fabulous to get support, information and resources. The Living with Dementia course particularly helped us with communication. I always tell people to look up Dementia Australia because it has all the information they need.”
Fundraising that hits the target
After setting a goal of $500, Kathy has found herself already surpassing her own expectations – and her goal. She puts this down to simply sharing her fundraising page on Facebook. Friends have been more than happy to show their support, knowing what Kathy and her family have been through.
Kathy has three top tips that she would like to share with you – to help you achieve your own fundraising goals:
- Be personal – talk about the person you know, what they think about the event and/or you.
- Keep it personal – talk about the support or assistance you’ve received, or what you know Dementia Australia can assist with.
- Post often – some people will miss your posts. In these posts, say something slightly different or use different photos – each variation will appeal to a different group.
Missing Bob
Bob passed away in August 2021. Kathy Brunning will never stop missing her dad.
During the six years following his diagnosis, it was hard for Kathy to see her dad lose his independence. Sometimes his usual joie de vivre would fade, particularly when he couldn’t understand something or struggled to express himself.
One night he scared them all by going missing from his home. Following a search of the area by police helicopter, a neighbour spotted him standing outside his old house. It was a shock for them all – and a reflection of the loss and grief they already felt for someone very present and very loved.
It was difficult to accept that Bob - a strong, caring and involved man – could be so “diminished”, where once he had been so confident and involved.
The story doesn’t finish here
Kathy has an enduring memory of Bob. He has just returned from his remarkable relay around Australia. He is happy to be home again and jubilant in his success. This is the Dad she will remember.
Even now we can celebrate all that Bob achieved in his life. After all, it’s his incredible example and adventurous spirit that has inspired Kathy’s own, determined, dementia-busting story.
We hope that her story can help and encourage the next person – whether it is in their first step towards healing or in making a commitment to cross that finish line!
